Conflict
I hate weak men. Men who never dares to take risks, men who "plays it safe", men who watches as their rights get eroded slowly but never picks up the courage to do anything about it, men who have money and resources, yet blames external factors for their own cowardice, men who are apathetic towards issues of national importance, yet runs away to another country when shit hits the fan.  
I was that weak man, a self-loathing and nihilistic scum. Insecure and jealous, overly ambitious yet lazy. Anger gave me focus, hate gave me comfort. But over the past 2 years, I have slowly but surely outgrew these emotions by putting in actual consistent effort in the things I do. I tried my best to not let my insecurities posses me, however strong they are. At the end of my studies, I made something of myself, I did things that I can be proud of.  
Recently, I was coached (in sports) by a man of strong character, the exact antithesis of the weak men. Top of his country in academics and sports, a man with razor sharp focus and a brilliant mind. Each morning at 8, he would train me in a particular racket sport for hours. This forced routine made me a better player than I ever was, and taught me that there really is no gain without pain, and for that I am eternally grateful.  
But something has been troubling me since, something extremely concerning. I am surrounded by weak men. My closest friends, to which I owe a lifetime of gratitude to them for their presence when I was at my lowest in university, are of weak character; apathetic, anti-social and risk averse. The more I spend time with my coach, an prime example of the so-called Nietzsche-an "Ubermensch", the more apparent this becomes. The conflict within me, driven by this sudden shift in my values and view of life, is tearing me into two separate persons.  
I want to tell my closest friends how I feel about this, yet I fear I may lose them.